You are what you think about – a reflection of your ego states

Monday Message from Jerry Houston, President and CEO of HPISolutions

In the 1960s, Dr. Eric Berne, a psychologist, developed the science of Transactional Analysis to assist in understanding how we are all influenced by our development and is a practical approach to understanding self and others.

Research has indicated that each of us possesses three distinct and different ego states.  These states are Parent, Adult, and Child.  These states are developed in large part based on our interpretation of those around us and how we are treated and communicated with.

The Parent Ego State approaches the world, in large part, based on how we were brought up.  Children record everything they see and do.  If your parents were judgmental, you may well also be judgmental.  If your parents were nurturing, chances are you are as well.  We absorb these recordings and they can be with us throughout our lives.

The Child Ego state is another recording in our lives.  This recording identifies internal events.  The responses we have to outside stimuli.  If your responses are negative (whining, crying, acting out), you may well carry these traits into adulthood.  You can also have a very normal, natural behavior, to act on your own.  The natural child is impulsive, untrained, expressive, affectionate, curious, and fun-loving.

The Adult Ego State is that state that begins to develop in each of us around 10 months old.  We begin to find out things for ourselves, and start to learn that there is a difference between what we are told or observe, and we begin to figure out things for ourselves.  We begin to think more independently, rationally, and objectively.  We examine the data from the Parent and determine whether we think it is true or not.  We do the same with the Child Ego State, evaluating what we think is correct or not.  The Adult Ego State fits best in a business context.  It is the problem-solving part of us.  It is reasonable and rational, not overreacting from the Parent or Child.

In my next Monday Message, I’ll spend some time talking about managing your ego states, and how that helps you to interact with others.

Have a Great Week!